536. Lullaby: Another Snarkie.

Snarkies seem to be preferred, so 

here's another, a lullaby in -- of all

things! -- rhyme.  How traditional,

how quaint!

       Lullaby

Lullaby O my dear one

Sweet dreams and good night

May demons torment you

And your worries choke tight.

Hush now my darling

These hours are blessed

May nightmares besiege you

With fury and zest.

Close your eyes, rest your noggin

And your brain full of lead

If your bladder malfunctions

Please don’t wet the bed.

Lullaby and good night

Since I can’t wish you well

Sleep deep and forever

Dear lover from hell.

Appropriate for Valentine's Day, so maybe I'll republish it then.

©  2021  Clifford Browder

535. Four Titters Crammed with Wisdom

Four Titters Crammed 

with Wisdom

Here is WISDOM crammed into three- 

and two-line Titters.  First, two that go 

together:

  Mind over Matter

“I’m not masturbating,”

Said the man in the phone booth.

“I’m having sex with a woman in Chicago.”

        Matter over Mind

Roaches in paradise.

Phone God, Porto-Potty answers.

And now another three-liner:

Pterodactyls

If you see one, you’re a poet.

Two, a visionary.

Three, a nut.

And finally, a six-liner:

Six Things That Keep Us from Suicide

A tight schedule.

Hope.

No gun.

No poison.

Hate to waste gas.

Diarrhea.

Coming soon:  Another Snarkie, a lullaby.

©  2021  Clifford Browder

534. Cranky: A Grump.

 

          Cranky: A Grump

Of the unholy trinity, Titters, Grumps, and 

Snarkies, we've met a Titter and a Snarkie.  

Here now is a Grump.

                     Cranky

There’s a crank buried deep inside us

That we’re ashamed of, try to squelch.

What a waste of talent,

What a loss of fiendish joy!

For there are joys in being cranky, consider:

Time is on your side;

We all get crankier with age.

You don’t have to flash 

That ninny smile,

Limp, insipid, forced,

When others flash at you

That ninny smile,

Limp, insipid, forced.

You can love yourself ad nauseam,

Every foible, every crotchet, every quirk.

A known crank,

You will be avoided by do-gooders urging you 

To save baby seals, whales, the world,

When, snug in your own tight nest,

You don’t give a damn about 

Baby seals, whales, the world.

If in a weak moment

You perpetrate an act of kindness,

You will astound everyone

And reap unwonted praise.

So what if people call you

An oddity, a grouch?

Immune to derision,

You will enjoy yourself

Unconscionably

To your brazen heart’s content.

So feel free to express yourself.  If the

mood hits, be a Grump.  And above 

all, ENJOY IT.

Next time, for the sake of brevity, 

three-liners and two-liners absolutely 

crammed with wisdom.

©  2021  Clifford Browder

533. Wishes for My Enemies. A Snarkie.

Wishes for My Enemies. A Snarkie.

Last time we talked about Titters,

Grumps, and Snarkies.  So now let's

do a Snarkie.

Never make an enemy of a writer; their 

revenge can be fierce. For instance this 

poem, which bears no dedication.

   Wishes for My Enemies

Bedbugs and constipation,

Irritable gut and fallen arches,

Relentless creditors,

Ruinous investments,

Disastrous infatuations,

Boredom, infinite and never ending

With a terrifying midnight awareness

Of their own irrelevance,

Their puniness

On this unfeeling earth.

Rather nasty, isn't it?  A real Snarkie.  

But that's not the end of it.  There are 

two more lines.

Fine.  But what if

My worst enemy is me?

So maybe now it's a Titter.  Certainly not 

a Snarkie.  To round things out, next time 

we'll do a Grump.

©  2021  Clifford Browder